somebody loves you

“Let’s go,” Baekhyun threw a backpack at Kyungsoo, opening the door. Kyungsoo and the bag tumbled to the floor, cursing at Baekhyun’s back.

“Go where?” he asked, throwing the bag onto the sofa and cursing colorfully when it fell onto him again.

“North Shore surfin’,” said Baekhyun.

“N-north shore? Wait, where the hell are we gonna stay? Whose car are we using? Why didn’t you ask me about this?” Kyungsoo scrambled to his feet, kicking the fallen bag and cursing again when his toe caught the metal water bottle.

“Cause I knew you’d say no,” Baekhyun flashed a grin at the scowl on Kyungsoo’s face, opening the door. “Now let’s go, Junmyeonnie is waiting downstairs.”

“You didn’t answer my other questions!” Kyungsoo yelled after him, picking up the backpack reluctantly when Baekhyun merely skipped down the stairs. It wasn’t odd for them to go on weekend escapades, though they hadn’t had one since Kyungsoo got back, but his gut churned; something wasn’t quite right. But he was left with no choice but to drag his feet down the stairs, his slippers slapping against the soles of his feet.

It was in moments like these he wanted to throttle Baekhyun; he had waved at Junmyeon, who was, for reasons unknown, wearing sunglasses though it was cloudy, and Baekhyun waved back, grinning childishly from the passenger’s seat. Kyungsoo opened the back door and his heart skipped a beat. Jongin was curled up against the other door, sound asleep.

“I’m not going,” said Kyungsoo. He slammed the door, turning to go back upstairs but Junmyeon’s glare made him stop.

“This trip is for both of you,” said Baekhyun, unwrapping a lollipop and giving it a noisy lick. Kyungsoo looked at Junmyeon again, who merely raised an eyebrow.

It felt like hours he stood on the corner, the fat palms shivering behind him, until he opened the car door again and climbed in without a word. Baekhyun gave his lollipop a triumphant slurp, turning in his seat to wink at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo scowled at him, folding his arms across his chest and sinking into the seat.

And yet, forty minutes later, standing in by the front desk of the bungalow, he felt like even more of a fool. The girl at the front desk cheerily told them their two-room bungalow was ready for them to check in, and it wasn’t until they were halfway across the sand that it dawned on Kyungsoo. He poked Baekhyun’s side, poking more roughly when Baekhyun ignored him.

“Eh?”

“Why is it a two room bungalow when there are four of us?” Kyungsoo hissed.

“Why would we rent a four room, brah, we can just buddy up,”

“You expect me to sleep in the same room as-“ Kyungsoo looked back at Jongin, who shuffled behind them, still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and nearly stumbling on a palm tree, “Why the hell would you think that’s a good idea?” Baekhyun didn’t answer him, continuing the walk in silence. Growling, Kyungsoo stomped over to Junmyeon.

“Whatever it is you’re gonna ask, I don’t have answers for,” said Junmyeon. Kyungsoo kicked a tuft of grass, cursing and stalking off behind the girl, who’d arrived at the front porch of the bungalow already, her smile as bright as the painted sign that read HIBISCUS BUNGALOW. She gave the keys to Junmyeon, and made her way back across the sand; Kyungsoo glared at her retreating back, plopping onto a chair on the deck.

“You can have the beachfront room, if you want,” said Baekhyun, ruffling Kyungsoo’s hair. His scream was cut short by Junmyeon’s glare, but his leg glowed red with hand print from Kyungsoo’s slap. Jongin, who was still half asleep, with eyes squinted from the sunlight, finally caught up to them, walking right past Junmyeon and the open door to drop onto the sofa.

“The garden room is fine,” Kyungsoo grumbled, making his way to the back room and sitting on the bed, staring at the bamboo shades until he drifted off to sleep.

🌴🌴🌴

They savored Sunday afternoons, when Kyungsoo’s mother would politely invite them to mass, and they would politely decline, often cuddled on the deep orange sofa with the worn corner under a thin blanket; their curious fingers wandered underneath it, pausing and revisiting the spots that had elicited soft moans and breathy sighs until they drew apart, their cheeks glowing and their eyes averted, stealing glances as they cooled down.

But this particular Sunday they returned to Kyungsoo’s bed, no more awake than before their showers. The sun shone through the window, laying itself across Jongin’s face; the light catching on his dark lashes and the soft rise of his nose. Kyungsoo reached out, caressing the bridge of Jongin’s nose, and pressing a kiss to it when Jongin didn’t move.

“M’tired,” Jongin mumbled, rolling over and pinning Kyungsoo beneath him.

“Oh please, you’ve slept like 12 hours,” said Kyungsoo, giggling when Jongin wiggled his way down, laying his head on Kyungsoo’s chest.

“M’tired,” he whined again, looking up at Kyungsoo through his lashes.

“If you’re that tired I guess we can’t try out the lube I bought,” Kyungsoo sighed, smiling when Jongin perked up.

“I’m always ready for hand jobs,” said Jongin, frowning at Kyungsoo’s giggle.

“Well-“ Kyungsoo paused, sitting up. Jongin followed suit, stretching his legs. “I was thinking we could use it for something else.”

“Something else?” Jongin scrunched his nose.

“Yeah, like maybe we could oof?” Kyungsoo said softly. Jongin sucked in his breath, staring at Kyungsoo until Kyungsoo scratched his neck, blushing. “I mean- we don’t have to I was jus’ sayin’-“

“I do! Want to oof. I mean, if you want to. Because I want to. I’d love to. I love you,” Jongin rambled, blushing when Kyungsoo smothered a giggle.

“Why would I suggest it if I don’t wanna, babo,” said Kyungsoo, pressing a soft kiss to Jongin’s cheek. Ears red, Jongin kissed him back, rubbing their noses together.

Kyungsoo fished the lube out of the nightstand, feeling the heat creep up his neck when he turned to find Jongin shirtless, struggling with the buttons on his shorts.

“Need help?” Kyungsoo asked. Jongin grunted, falling back onto the bed with splayed arms. “Drama queen.”

“I am not!” Jongin whined, lifting his hips when Kyungsoo tugged on the shorts. “Hyung, you don’t need to fold them.” Heat crept up Kyungsoo’s neck.

“Shut up,” he threw the shorts at Jongin’s face, working on his own pants while Jongin untangled himself, laughing so hard he fell over. The shorts slid off easily, but the shirt got tangled around his neck, and he cursed softly until Jongin’s nimble fingers rescued him. Once free of his shirt, he felt Jongin’s soft lips on his neck, golden fingers rushing to the familiar spots that made Kyungsoo shiver. He felt naked, though he still had on his underwear; it was a different kind of nakedness, one that was vulnerable, as if he’d peeled back all the layers of him. Jongin’s warmth against his back made the rest of him feel cold; he leaned into Jongin, whining when Jongin moved away.

“Hyung,” Jongin said softly, pulling Kyungsoo on top of him, kissing his way up Kyungsoo’s neck until they locked lips, drinking each other in as Kyungsoo set a slow rhythm, grinding down onto Jongin’s lap. Jongin moaned into their kisses, his fingers kneading Kyungsoo’s ass, slipping down Kyungsoo’s underwear to dig into the soft skin.

“We should- underwear. Off,” Kyungsoo muttered between kisses. Jongin nodded, sliding Kyungsoo’s down with far too much enthusiasm. Kyungsoo blushed, his bare ass cheeks bumping against Jongin’s thighs.

“Sorry,” Jongin giggled, his ears red. He shimmied out of his underwear as best he could, nearly kneeing Kyungsoo’s waist, and threw the underwear blindly, his hands settling on Kyungsoo’s waist again. They kissed again, but the fervor was gone, replaced instead by the growing nervousness. The touches were soft again, Kyungsoo’s fingers tangled in Jongin’s jet black hair.

“We don’t- we don’t have to,” Kyungsoo whispered, pressing their foreheads together.

“I still do, if you want to,” he said softly, bumping their noses together.

“Yes, I’m just-“

“Nervous as hell?” Jongin laughed, burying his face in Kyungsoo’s neck and pressing a kiss the hollow. “Me too.” And with that, Kyungsoo relaxed in Jongin’s arms, closing his eyes and letting Jongin’s hands guide him into a steady rhythm, until they were both panting and flushed.

“We should- lube,” Kyungsoo grabbed blindly, cursing when he knocked the bottle over.

“I’ll get it,” Jongin rolled over, stretching to grab the bottle, the square of sunlight lighting up the expanse of his bronzed back. Kyungsoo pressed his hand on the center of the square, spreading his fingers to take in the warmth. Jongin looked at him, brow furrowed.

“You’re always so warm, my little sun boy,” Kyungsoo caressed the expanse of Jongin’s wide shoulders, admiring how the muscles rippled when Jongin sat up.

“I’m always warm to make sure you don’t ever feel cold,” said Jongin, kissing Kyungsoo’s pink cheeks. Kyungsoo shifted on the bed, his too-warm skin pressed against the too-cold wall, hooking his hands under his thighs to hold them apart. He blushed, looking away when Jongin settled between his legs, running a hand over the inside of Kyungsoo’s thigh.

“You’re beautiful,” Jongin whispered, pressing a kiss to Kyungsoo’s knee. He uncapped the lube, squeezing some onto his fingers, then paused, looking at Kyungsoo. “I don’t want to hurt you.” There was a softness in Jongin’s eyes that made Kyungsoo melt.

“I’ve fingered myself before. It’s okay,” he said, blushing when Jongin’s eyes widened.

“Oh,” Jongin pressed a finger to Kyungsoo’s hole, jerking it back when Kyungsoo hissed.

“It’s just cold, I’m fine,” Jongin’s brow was still furrowed, worry shining in his eyes. Kyungsoo cupped Jongin’s cheek, kissing him softly. “I promise. I’ll let you know if it hurts.” Jongin nodded, kissing him again before Kyungsoo leaned back. Jongin took a shaky breath, teasing Kyungsoo’s hole before pressing a finger in, pumping it twice hesitantly before Kyungsoo gave him a reassuring nod. Both of them were flushed, and beads of sweat were already pooling on Jongin’s forehead. Kyungsoo hissed when Jongin pushed in another finger.

“It just feels different. I’m fine,” Jongin swallowed hard, his forehead creased with worry. Kyungsoo gave Jongin a deep kiss, guiding Jongin’s fingers until his breath hitched.

“Oh,” said Jongin breathily, curling his fingers again and grinning when Kyungsoo whimpered. He kissed Kyungsoo, drinking in every moan; Kyungsoo had become soft, pliant under his fingers, cheeks aglow and eyes closed. It wasn’t until Jongin pulled out his fingers that Kyungsoo’s eyes fluttered open again, panting slightly. “I- uh- no condom?” Jongin could barely get the word out, giggling.

“Oh fuck, I forgot. I mean-“ Kyungsoo looked down at Jongin’s dick, his cheeks pinking even more, then looked back up at Jongin, who held his lube-covered fingers awkwardly above his thigh. “We’re both clean, right?”

“And virgins,” Jongin mumbled, blushing again. “I don’t mind.”

“Me neither,” said Kyungsoo, kissing him and leaning back again. The sun had shifted now, lighting up Jongin’s thighs and dick as he squirted more lube on his hand. Kyungsoo watched the pumping of Jongin’s hand, the rise and fall of Jongin’s chest as his breath stuttered, and the strands of hair that stuck to Jongin’s sweaty forehead. Jongin shifted closer, looking up at Kyungsoo with wide eyes.

“I love you,” he said softly, and the tension that had been building in Kyungsoo’s chest ebbed.

“I love you too,” said Kyungsoo, reaching out to hold Jongin’s waist as Jongin leaned over him, both of them giggling when Jongin’s dick bumped into Kyungsoo’s thigh. Once settled, Jongin pressed the head of his dick against Kyungsoo’s hole, rubbing circles on Kyungsoo’s hip as he pressed in. Kyungsoo sucked in his breath, fingers digging into Jongin’s sweaty skin. Jongin paused, leaning over Kyungsoo to press a kiss to his forehead.

“Is it okay? Should I stop?” he asked, nuzzling Kyungsoo’s cheek.

“I’m fine, just take it slow,” said Kyungsoo. Jongin pressed in until he was fully buried in Kyungsoo, pressing open mouthed kisses along Kyungsoo’s neck.

“Oh,” Jongin tumbled onto Kyungsoo, both of them giggling. “Sorry, my arms gave out.”

“You need push ups, noodle arms,” said Kyungsoo.

“Eh? We’re both really skinny!” Jongin whined, propping himself on his forearms and blowing a raspberry on Kyungsoo’s neck. Yelling in protest, Kyungsoo squirmed under him, both of them dissolved in laughter.

“Yah! Move already,” Kyungsoo whined, laughing again when Jongin buried him under kisses.

The sun fell across Jongin’s back, illuminating the steady rhythm of Jongin’s hips. The vulnerability Kyungsoo had felt earlier was back. He felt raw under Jongin, the intensity of Jongin’s dark eyes boring holes so deep Kyungsoo felt stripped apart; but the softness of Jongin’s kisses and the solidity of his arms, the constant presence of his warmth held Kyungsoo together, even as Kyungsoo’s whines grew higher pitched, the pleasure of Jongin’s thrusts a fire that spread across his body. Jongin’s thrusts were erratic, his kisses sloppy; Kyungsoo tangled his fingers in Jongin’s hair, moaning into Jongin’s mouth as he came, back arched. Jongin’s hips stuttered, trembling with his orgasm while Kyungsoo played with his hair, pressing open-mouthed kisses to Jongin’s shoulder. He felt, for lack of better words, dissolved, melted by the heat of Jongin’s body and the force of his own orgasm, torn apart entirely. But Jongin, with glossed over eyes and dripping in sweat, gave him a small, soft kiss, stitching him back together with more kisses, across the bridge of Kyungsoo’s nose, along his cheekbones, peppered across his chest, pulling him back together under the glow of the afternoon sun.

Jongin eventually crumpled in a sweaty heap half on top of Kyungsoo, rubbing his nose against Kyungsoo’s.

“That was- I don’t think I can even describe it,” Jongin said breathily.

“I dunno how you’re forming sentences,” said Kyungsoo, smiling at Jongin’s laugh. Sweat shone on both of them, and the sunlight was on Jongin’s face again, the warm glow of it reflected in Jongin’s dark eyes, though he squinted against the light. He wiggled closer, giving Kyungsoo soft kisses until Kyungsoo rolled onto his side, pressing them closer. Jongin draped an arm around Kyungsoo, playing with Kyungsoo’s hair. They cuddled for a while, drifting in and out of a light sleep until Kyungsoo pulled a grumbling Jongin out of bed, leading him to the bathroom before Kyungsoo’s mother returned from mass.

After lunch, which was awkwardly silent, both Kyungsoo and Jongin too groggy to process the meal, they made their way to the beach. Junmyeon dragged his board across the sand, but Jongin didn’t have one; when asked, he shrugged it off. It took them the better part of half an hour, trudging under the afternoon sun, to find a decent spot. Baekhyun stopped abruptly, Junmyeon and Kyungsoo colliding with him spectacularly, and he plopped onto the sand, spreading out the towel.

“You couldn’t have warned us?” Kyungsoo growled, helping him fix the towel. Baekhyun gave him a sunny smile, no less dimmed when Junmyeon gave him a swift smack on the head. Once the towel was in place, Baekhyun crawled to the center and splayed his arms and legs, screaming when Junmyeon and Jongin sat on his back.

“Okay! Okay- agh! Getoffme-“ he rolled out from underneath them, rubbing his back with a scowl. Kyungsoo busied himself with his bag, stuffing the sunscreen lotion to the bottom when a glimmer on Jongin’s neck caught his eye. His heart dropped; surely it was just a trick of the sun, but he hadn’t seen Jongin wearing it before. Despite the rushed sex, he would’ve noticed it; but his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him, and he stared as Jongin took off his shirt, ogling the small starfruit pendant at the end of it.

“Eh? Wazzat?” Baekhyun shoved Jongin back, none too gently, pointing at Jongin’s middle. Jongin looked down, shrugged, and balled up his shirt. The others looked too; from the belly button hung a miniature pendant with a topaz at its center, glinting in the sunlight.

“When’d you get that?” Junmyeon asked, reaching out to touch it. Jongin slapped his hand away.

“Two weeks ago,” Baekhyun hummed.

“So ‘at’s why you don’t wanna surf, eh,” he winked. Jongin rolled his eyes, stretching out on the towel. A rolled up towel slumped out of Kyungsoo’s bag, startling him out of his reverie. Baekhyun caught his eye, grinning, and heat crawled up Kyungsoo’s neck, stuffing the towel and ripping his shirt off, savagely pummeling it into the bag. When he looked up, Baekhyun was a mere inch away, a shit eating grin on his face.

“Somebody’s a lil’ thirsty, I’d say,” he snickered, hot sand spraying onto the towel when he fell.

“Come on, Baek, leave him alone,” Junmyeon stood over Baekhyun, waiting for him to scramble to his feet and pull off his shirt before they marched off to the water. Kyungsoo cursed softly. It was mostly quiet; the music was far off, the blare of it dulled by distance and heat, and the people were crowded farther down the shore. The crash of the waves was the only distinct sound, sometimes accompanied by a cool sea breeze, but it brought with it the deep desire to sleep. Kyungsoo shook it off, glancing over at Jongin, but it seemed he’d drifted off to sleep again, spread eagled across the towel, fine grains of white sand sticking to his tanned feet.

It was worse, he thought, to see Jongin sleep so peacefully, to see the changes he’d gone through. He still had a bit of boyish charm, but it was far less than what Kyungsoo had remembered, and his body had finally filled in, no longer the lanky, skinny boy Kyungsoo had left behind.

He stood up, hissing at the hot sand under his feet, half hopping towards the water; it was the least he could do to stay awake. The water was cool, a welcome relief from the heat of the sun on his back. Foam and spray slapped his calves, the current dragging at his feet. Junmyeon and Baekhyun were far off, specks on a board that cut its way across a funneled wave. He’d been good at surfing, before he’d left, but he didn’t trust himself now, instead wading in the the waist deep water.

“Ah, it’s colder than I thought it would be,” Kyungsoo jumped, whirling around. Jongin was behind him, his face twisted in a grimace. Kyungsoo chuckled nervously.

“Ah, yeah. But it’s nice. Today’s hot,” said Kyungsoo, scratching his neck. He wished now that he’d stayed on the towel; Jongin was close, too close, his body slick with water and the chain and piercing glinting in a most distracting manner. Kyungsoo had an identical pendant, but he’d left it in his mother’s house when he moved; it had been a gift from Jongin on their fourth anniversary, a promise to fulfill their dream. The guilt of leaving Jongin had been far too great for Kyungsoo to take it to New York, and upon his return he knew it would be wrong; to wear something that had meant so much to them, but he had so rashly destroyed. He hadn’t thought twice about the absence of Jongin’s own pendant until now, and it pained him, but hope, which he had ceased to feel, began stirring again.

To Kyungsoo’s dismay, Jongin stayed close by, an awkward silence settling heavily between them. It was made worse with the crash of each wave, echoing in the two feet of water that separated them. The sun beat down heavily, but the clouds were more frequent, and bigger, bringing some relief. Kyungsoo dipped below the water, bobbing up for air. Jongin looked elsewhere, though his eyes were obscured by a pair of sunglasses. It unnerved Kyungsoo, not knowing where Jongin was looking. He floated farther from Jongin, closer to the shore, and knelt on the sand, the water lapping at his shoulders. Gulls squawked above, wheeling across the sharp blue of the sky. Kyungsoo craned his neck to look at them; and he heard, rather belatedly, Jongin’s concerned cry when a crashing wave dragged him down. He was thrown against the sand, the grains burning his back. The breaking waves made it impossible for him to escape, pinned to the shore with each crash. With a final heave, Kyungsoo pushed himself onto the shore, crawling towards the drier sand. A pair of legs appeared in front of him, and the glitter of the a topaz flashed above them. Jongin knelt in front of him, eyes wide with worry.

“I thought I’d lost you there for a second,” Jongin said softly, rubbing Kyungsoo’s back. Kyungsoo coughed, spitting out salt water.

“I just got pinned by the waves. I’m fine,” he said, resting his forehead on his knee.

“Maybe we should stick to the towel for today,” Jongin chuckled, helping Kyungsoo stand. It was odd, the gingerness Jongin was treating him with, but Kyungsoo had never seen Jongin with panic in his eyes the way he had when he was pulled under. He preferred it to being ignored, but it still wasn’t quite right.

They lay on the towel side by side, Jongin’s forearm snug against Kyungsoo’s, though the sun was almost unbearable. Jongin had thrown his shirt over the piercing, the sunglasses haphazardly placed on the edge of Kyungsoo’s bag. Kyungsoo felt, again, the pull to sleep, warmed by the sun and by Jongin’s arm. He closed his eyes, opening them again when he felt Jongin’s soft lips on his own.

Jongin pulled away, flushed, and spread out on the towel again, staring at the palm trees as if nothing had happened. Kyungsoo stared stupidly at him, letting his head fall back on the towel with parted lips.

After they ate, Kyungsoo decided the best feeling in the world was a cool shower after a day at the beach. But now, with Jongin curled up at his side, cheek on Kyungsoo’s shoulder, he decided it was the clean scent of shampoo and soap emanating from Jongin’s warm skin. Baekhyun passed him a slice of aloe vera, hissing when he applied it to his burned shoulders, sitting on Junmyeon’s legs before pressing play. Kyungsoo had stopped watching the movie a while ago; the romcom Baekhyun had picked bored him, but he didn’t want to object. He busied himself with the aloe, grimacing at the cold of it on his overheated skin. Taking some of it on his finger, he spread it on Jongin’s sunburned nose, smiling when Jongin scrunched his nose, stirring sleepily.

Baekhyun squealed, arm outstretched to take a picture of them, but Junmyeon pulled him back.

“You’re gonna wake him,” Kyungsoo hissed.

“Oh, please. It’s Jongin. The world could end and he’d sleep through it,” Baekhyun scoffed, reaching out again, phone in hand. “Ow! Stop it, I need proof of this for later.” Junmyeon glared at him. “Aw c’mon, Soo. Don’t be givin’ me stink eye, it’s supposed to be a cute picture.” Kyungsoo’s scowled remained unchanged, though he didn’t mean it. No, in fact he wanted to smile, to cry with joy at the feeling of Jongin’s heat by his side. Perhaps this trip wouldn’t be so bad, after all.